By Eric Certain
Letter to a Veteran Who Should Attend Red Badge
Dear friend.
I see you.
I see you staring off into nowhere thinking about everything. That stare has been my mask many times. You see the window, or the chair, or the bottle of liquor on the shelf…but you don’t see the window, or the chair, or that bottle. They just happen to be in the way of your eyesight. And your gaze is held upon them while your brain sees your past and does its best to see the future. But that future isn’t real. I know.
You would be so much better if you would just see the now. I can show you how.
I see your knee bouncing. I see the other one join the fray sometimes. I know what that bouncing means. It’s an attempt to distract your body to pretend that you are busy so that your brain won’t think about anything. The trick is to think that since you are so busy, you won’t go and do something else. It’s a terrible trick. It’s like holding up a single card and telling someone to “pick a card”. There isn’t much trick to it.
I know a much better trick that you can learn. I can show you how.
I see your eyes looking around, darting from one thing to the next. Looking at the exit, the amount of people around, the ones that might cause trouble, the large box that seems out of place, the door to the back area. In your head they are all worthy of watching. But its so exhausting. I know. It gets tiresome trying to take mental notes of everything out there that can hurt you or those around you.
I know a lot of better things for you to keep your eyes on. I can show you how.
I see you doing all of this while sitting with your back in the corner. Nothing is going to get behind you. I see what you are going through. I know. Having to protect half of your world is so much easier than protecting everything surrounding you. It’s even easier when you are at home. Staying behind your walls seems so much better and it helps you feel secure. But it doesn’t really help.
I know a lot of better things to help you. I can show you how.
Write.
Write it all down.
Write it all down and then read it to people who have been through the same processes that you go through now.
Read it to them and let them tell you how it makes them feel so that you can see other people that feel like you do.
Read it to them and let them tell you what they think so that you can understand that others think like you do.
Read it to them, let others read it, so they will tell you that you are not crazy.
Because you are not crazy.
Write it for you.
Read it for others.
Join the Red Badge Project.
Red Badge Project’s Mission Statement
To support Wounded Warriors in the journey to reconstruct their individual sense of purpose, understanding of self-worth, and place in community, as they discover and give voice to their unique stories. Outcomes include:
Improved self-acceptance and personal efficacy
Participants discover greater self-acceptance and efficacy as they find their voice, and produce stories inspired by their life experiences.
Improved communication and writing skills
Participants understand the creative process and utilize a variety of tools to express themselves within and beyond the classroom.
Improved sense of community
Participants feel safe within and beyond the classroom through outreach to participants’ families, peers and the larger community.
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